Guilt free meal

I cry on the inside;
I shame myself on the inside.
But you wouldn’t notice ,
Wouldn’t notice that hidden deep down
my echoing laughter guilt hides,
Changing form to a sharp sharp blade.

I will laugh heartily;I will spread joy.
But you wouldn’t notice,
Wouldn’t notice the blade , blackening my black heart.
I pump black blood, I hear it roar;
Inside of me, screaming of guilt;
Slowly spreading the black inside me.

I will laugh heartily;I will spread joy.
But you wouldn’t notice ,
Wouldn’t notice the hungry beast, guilt ,
Eating me up from the inside;
That foodie bastard.
His silver cutlery , cuts through this burnt meat.
Oh,guilt having a guilt free meal.

I will laugh heartily;I will spread joy.
But you wouldn’t notice ,
Wouldn’t notice how much everything hurts.
How shallow he has made me.
How black my blood is.
How black i have become.

Unviewable this sea of tears,
Unrepairable those mistakes,
Unavoidable this black.
But oh, i will laugh heartily, I will spread joy.

—————————-

Talking about black, here are a few thoughts about the colour ! Check it out!

https://songoftheforlorn.wordpress.com/2015/09/18/black/

 

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28 thoughts on “Guilt free meal

  1. I agree. It’s hard to let the regrets go. In the past I have punished myself in my thoughts and its hard to let go, or even be honest about past behaviours because there is no excuse for them. Still I need to take time to forgive myself for them and move on.

    See my blog touching on upbringing affecting decisions and negative behaviour. Ultimately they are our decisions we make to be held accountable for, but also forgive ourselves for too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Firstly, thankyou !!
      Secondly, where were you wavering? Only asking because many people seem to be confused about the meaning!

      Like

      1. Well I’m guessing that the meaning is about repressing anger and hurt and the detrimental effect that has on self esteem and one’s metal health. I was wavering more because, while some lines seemed really strong, others didn’t quite pack the same power.

        Like

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